When is a help a real help?

[Samuel]

Weird question right. But I've been facing this issue. Not only me, this may be the case with many of you also. So, the question is When to help and when not to help?

Everybody encourages helping others. Helping others is a way to show our attitude towards them. But, as every coin has two sides, helping has also two sides. On one side helping has positive effects and on the other side helping has negative effects. Example for positive effects... Helping in Education, Helping those who are needy etc etc... By helping you make others better.

The negative point is very interesting, By helping you are making others lazy (Out of their lazyness they are asking you for help). By your help they are not knowing their responsibilities etc etc. By helping you are degrading others.

So, my request to you all, you must have faced this kind of situation in your lives. How you've dealt with this issue? and how to gently turn down others' request when you know that your help is not really a help?

[Ashwin]

You said that we teach them something and make them better

IMHO, there are more positive effects,

Sometimes you learn new things when helping others and you have a better understanding with the asker, maybe you could end up being Friends for life

I am not sure if I agree or disagree with the negative point.

For eg: If someone has no idea about computers and wants help with it, would you call it lazy?
And by helping them and educating them about some basic functions, aren't we improving their life?

However, when you help someone with a problem and teach them how to fix it, and they come back to you when the issue occurs again, they are sort of lazy.
Surely taking an effort is worth your time, if it fails atleast you can say "I tried to fix it."

[Avinash]

@Ashwin said what I would have said.

[Samuel]

ok ash. Agreed, that there are more positive effects. Coming to the last line of what you said, people coming again and again for the same problem which we have already solved are lazy, true. So, how to deal with such kinda people.

[Ashwin]

ok ash. Agreed, that there are more positive effects. Coming to the last line of what you said, people coming again and again for the same problem which we have already solved are lazy, true. So, how to deal with such kinda people.

Depends on who the person is,

1. If its your colleague or your boss , just sigh and pray that they learn it before asking you the next time
2. If it is your friend point out that you already helped them with the same problem, maybe they will "remember" it
3. If its an elderly person, there is no harm in smiling and helping them again
4. If its your sibling, I recommend a good kick

[Mike]

If its your sibling, I recommend a good kick

Great idea Ashwin

[Ashwin]

Great idea Ashwin

Thanks Mike

[Grr]

lol...someone missing Grr questions..

4. If its your sibling, I recommend a good kick